#ian malcolm one shot

[lolahauri]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ when you touch me i die just a little inside

My brain is completely flooded with jumbled scenarios of Ian, so let me just ramble and get this out here before I explode 😩 no proof reading and no warnings btw, someday soon ill rewrite this better, but for now this is what yall get 🥴(MDNI)

-

Just imagine him being your mathematics professor. he's in his early forties, you're in your early-mid twenties. you've always had a thing for older men, and them being an authority figure only made the fantasies more exciting.

you noticed after some months of being in his class, he seemed to start eyeing you more. lingering gazes cast in your direction were becoming increasingly noticeable. he always asked your thoughts on the subject being taught first. he praised your papers and projects much more than the other students.

you wondered if you were being delusional, or if maybe you actually had a chance...

you wanted to test him and see if your suspicions were correct, but without being too obvious, of course. so to start, you began wearing short skirts more often, maybe with a sweater on top so it didn't seem so clear you were trying to show some skin. you took note of how he looked directly at your legs every time you strolled into class with a miniskirt. you couldn't see after you turned your back, but man he couldn't take his eyes off of them until you got to your seat.

after a couple weeks, you moved your spot to the front row, closer to his main desk. occasionally, when he was up at the board, looking out to the class, you'd switch your crossed legs to the other side. spreading them just enough that he could catch a glimpse of your lace panties. you knew you caught him in the act when he began to clear his throat profusely afterwards, refusing to look you in the eyes for the rest of the day.

you continued to amp up your little game until you were sure you could make a move. but before you could, he did.

-

class was out for the day, you were the last student to get your things packed and ready to leave. before you could head out the door though, Dr. Malcolm called out to you.

"Uh, Ms. [L/N]?" you turned to look at him, his face was serious. your stomach dropped, shit, what if the teasing wasn't affecting him the way you thought it was?

"Oh- um. yes, professor?" you were trying to play it cool, maybe he'd buy the 'i had no idea' act if you pitched it well enough.

"would you, uh, mind seeing me in my office for a sec?"

"of course! yes..." you walked with him to a door near the corner of his room, hands beginning to tremble a bit. as you entered, he walked in behind you and... locked the door?

before you could ask what this was about, he roughly grabbed your cheeks in one hand, tilting your head up to force eye contact with you.

"do you have something you wanna tell me, Ms. [L/N]" heat pooled in your stomach immediately as his deep brown eyes pierced into yours "you wanna explain this - this little game you've playing? huh?" he squeezed your soft face a little harder, lips slowly inching towards you.

"Sir, i-"

"what? you- you think I didn't notice what you were doing? wearing these little, uh, short skirts, spreadin' your legs right in front me everyday." his voice raised a bit, but oddly enough, he didn't exactly sound angry. it must be the sexual frustration coming out.

and maybe this wasn't the time to be bold, but you couldn't hold back anymore, you needed him now.

"maybe I wanted you to notice, professor."

he smirked down at you, wrapping a strong arm around your back "oh, really? well, uh, you got my attention now sweetheart."

oh, it's game on.

both of you leaned forward to quickly close the gap between your mouths. your lips fit together like puzzle pieces, your head was spinning as you reached up to snake your arms around his neck. he's so tall...

a surprised noise came out of you as he leaned down to pick you up, one arm under your ass, the other still on your back, pressing you into his body firmly. the kiss quickly deepened, he slid his tongue past your lips, swirling it around your own as you moaned into his mouth.

ian stumbles forward a bit, carefully finding the table in the room and lying you down on it, pulling away from the kiss briefly.

"you, uh, wanna take this further sweetheart?" he grinned down at you, his arms caging your head in.

"god, yes" you breathed out, wrapping your legs around his hips and bringing him into another kiss.

he chuckled against your lips, not wasting any time to run a large hand up both your top and skirt. one hand was grabbing your breast as the other worked to pull your panties down. usually he'd prep a woman more before fucking her, but you've worked him up so much he can't wait any longer.

ian pulled back once again, hastily undoing his belt. you watched in awe as he pulled his pants down, just far enough to let his long cock spring out. he let out a breathy laugh, "like what you see?"

under normal circumstances you'd be embarrassed, but you were so turned on and dazed all you could do was nod, slowly lifting your gaze back to his eyes.

he stepped forward and bent down slightly to align his hips with yours, grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist. you were breathing heavily as his tip grazed your hole, dripping wet and ready to be fucked.

"are you, um, are you sure you wanna do this? i can stop-"

"just fuck me already, please" you interrupted, you weren't trying to be rude, but you're getting seriously desperate right now.

"shit..." he mutters under his breathe, quickly following your orders and slipping himself in. he was big, but there was no resistance at all from your slick pussy.

ian set a quick, but gentle pace, not wanting to be too rough too fast. you were both filling the small space with moans and groans, getting dangerously loud considering the building you're in. but neither of you could honestly care right now, this felt way too good to hold back.

you gripped onto his biceps tightly, trying to keep yourself stable and grounded. with every thrust he was hitting that spot inside you that made your knees weak, you let out a couple broken whines after he hit your sweet spot particularly hard.

he groaned at the feeling your nails digging into his arms, he loved seeing the affect he had on you. ian picked up the intensity, brutally shoving his hips forward and pounding into you at an almost painful degree.

you were practically screaming his name now, steadily building up to your climax. you could tell he was getting close too, his breathing was heavy and ragged, droplets of sweat running down his forehead.

"Ian, -fuck- please cum in me, please." you sobbed out the sentence, moaning after every thrust. your pussy clenched around him as your orgasm began to erupt. the feeling spread over your entire body, sending jolts of electricity through your nervous system, thighs quivering around his torso as your juices coated his cock.

"oh shit-" ian threw his head back at the sensation, following right behind you as his thrusts became sloppy and irregular, filling you to the brim with his cum as he groaned loudly. he fucked into you a few more times, riding out your orgasms until you were both on the verge of overstimulation.

he stayed inside you for a moment, catching his breath and letting you calm down from the high. soon though, you both sighed as he pulled out, letting his fresh load pour out of you and onto the table, making a complete mess. the sight was truly obscene, but in the best way possible.

you two might need to make a habit of this...

[toomanybandstocare]

Hi ❤️✨ can I please request a sneaking around with Ian Malcolm, maybe reader is a dino vet and you're teaching him about them? It can be romantic or platonic, whatever you want! Thank you, and happy birthday 🎂

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖ - Sneaking Around

Drabble for a character x reader of your request. Thank you for celebrating with me anon! This can be read as romantic or platonic :) <3

Pairing: Ian Malcolm x Dino Vet, GN! Reader

Alternative Pairing: Ian Malcolm & Dino Vet, GN! Reader

Genre: Angst

Length: 1008w

Warnings: Implied reader death & Petname (Sweetheart)

Counselor Notes: Ah! It's the last of the celebration requests :,) I had so much fun with these. Thank you to everyone who sent on in or left a kind note on them.

-> Celebration Announcement Post <- -> Celebration Masterlist <- -> Camp Isla Nublar Masterlist <-

You heard them before anyone else did. As Grant and Ian argue over the best evacuation plan from the visitor center, a calculated footstep rung out in the distance. No, that’s too human for this shrill sound- a dull, claw scratch rings out against the metal construction flooring. With the vicious whispers, childish whimpers, and broken machinery hissing, the faint noise is barely noticeable. The adrenaline that rushes through your veins all throughout your body now burns at the creature’s taunting. Your eyes dart around the computer room, desperately searching through the darkness for something to disprove your worst fears. Your skin pricks as you lock onto the large window that looks into the hallway. Cloaked in shadows, something lurks behind the clouds of mist.

“Shut up,” you hiss. “Shut up, shut up, shut up”. The room immediately falls silent. Crouching down, you hide yourself behind one of the computer desks. Blood rushes to your ears, and your heartbeat thunders against your throat. Your fingernails dig into the palms of your fist. White knuckled and shaking, you cover your mouth with your hands.

“What did you see?” Ian quietly murmurs as he joins you. Knees pressed against yours, he crouches before you with a knowing expression.

His cologne mixes with the aroma of his leather jacket and sweat that brings you a twisted sense of comfort. You’re not alone in this. As you open your mouth to correct him, a chilling scratch rings out through the room. Eyes widening, you share a look of panic with Ian. Your breaths grow quick and haggard as a guttural growl echoes in the hallway, growing louder with every click-click-click. Claws lazily dragging against the floor another set joins them, cl-click-cl-click-cl-click. Your skin pricks at the abrasive noise. Cl-cl-click, cl-cl-click, cl-cl-click.

Pulling your shaking hands away from your mouth, you whisper, “It’s what I heard”.

Ian grasps your hands in his own and tightly squeezes them. His amber eyes darken as he looks at you in complete seriousness. “We’re safe,” he assures you, “As long as we stay in here, we’ll be alright until we can figure out how to get the power back on”.

Nerves shake your spine causing you to tremble. Your knees scream from holding this cramped position, but you don���t dare move a single inch. Even though it’s hopeless. They already know you’re all here. All because of you. A choked whimper passes from your lips and your hands grip Ian’s “It’s too late,” you shakily explain. If only you had just pushed the anxiety down and stopped the others’ argument. Not a single security precaution works without the main power leaving you all sitting in a dark room with only the deadbolt bar across the door keeping the raptors out.

A metal screech interrupts you. Your eyes snap up, and your gaze focuses just past Ian’s shoulder at the entryway. “Raptors have sharp hearing,” you breathe out. Your voice quivers, and you drag your gaze to meet Ian’s. Watching the last spark of hope dim in his eyes, your stomach knots. There’s only one way for them to get out of this. Darting your tongue across your chapped lip, you let out a choked breath. “They already know we’re in here by now,” you continue. “And they’re not going to stop until they have something else to focus on. Raptors feed off the thrill of the chase just as much as they do devouring their prey.”

Ian takes you in with his cool, calculating expression. Always trying to get to the root of the situation through logic and care. At the cost of just being just one step behind. As a look of realization breaks across his face, you push against the balls of your feet and dart past Ian.

For one fleeting moment, you feel absolute clarity. Wind stigs your cheeks as you run across the room. Grant, Ellie, the kids - their hushed shouts are drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat thundering. Only Ian’s cry crashes through the whirlwind. His voice shakes with scared desperation as he calls out your name. Pleading for you not to go through with this. As if time moves in a blur, you’re already reaching out to the metal door.

The coolness bites at your flushed fingertips as they wrap around the deadbolt bar. Sliding it across, your ears prick up as you hear footsteps rush behind you. You hastily slip through the opening. As you try to pull your arm through, a hand latches onto your forearm.

“Don’t do this,” Ian heaves. “There are other options. You don’t need to do this”.

Your veins burn as blood stings the inside of your body. “You know how fast a raptor is, Ian?” you ask. Voice light and airy as the words tremble of your tongue in a façade of confidence.

“Don’t do this, sweetheart,” Ian pleads. Eyes wide as he shakes his head in protest, and his grip on you tightens. “Come back inside. There’s still time”.

“Forty miles per hour,” you choke out. “You need to let me go, or they’ll kill us all. They need something else to play with. What’s better than a group of prey waiting for the slaughter? One running for their life with death on their heels”. Pulling your arm free, you take a step back and slide the door shut. Your knees buckle as you take a step down the hallway. Fists pound against the window pane to the side of the door when you pick up a running pace. Looking over your shoulder, you see Ian shouting from behind the glass as three silhouettes emerge from the murky mist. A flickering hallway light illuminates the creatures as they take slow steps towards you. Heads cocked to the side as they watch. 

Your heart climbs up your throat as a dizzying wave of adrenaline washes over you. Without a second glance or thought, you run down the hallway. Claws clicking and scratching against the metal flooring as the Velociraptors hunt their prey.

[bonkwosher]

OHMYGOD I HAVE POLLS

I'm gauging interest for which I should write this weekend & requests I should prioritize in general! Requests are still open too if you want to request more!

[lolahaurisfw]

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Here i'll only be taking requests for fluff, platonic, and angst! Reqs are always open like usual too, and you can request as much as you want and as detailed as you want! i just get to things when i can/want to.

Anon's: None Yet

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahauri @chowderpop

AO3: Here

BlueSky: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

DNI: Map, Zoo, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Discourse Blogs. Block me if you don't agree. ❤️🖤🤍💚

What I Won't Write:

Smut. (Go to my other blog)

What I'm Willing To Write:

Reader Who Is: Tall, Short, Fat, Chubby, Curvy, Buff. Trans/NB.

Reader Who Has: Depression, Anxiety, DPDR, ADD.

Fluff, angst, platonic, hurt/comfort.

HC's, one shots, short multi-chapter fics, imagines/drabbles.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Fictional Other (F/O) Imagines: +18, no names, they/them only.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on! (you can request others from these fandoms, but it will prob take me longer)

Adventure Time/Fiona & Cake: PB, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona.

Attack On Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin, Ymir. 

Avatar: Jake, Neytiri.

Batman Begins Trilogy: Batman, Catwoman, Bane, Joker, Scarecrow.

Beauty & The Beast: Belle, Beast/Adam, Gaston.

Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast.

BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Penny, Amy.

Bistro Huddy: All Staff Members.

Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite.

BNA: Michiru, Shirou.

Bob’s Burgers: Bob, Linda.

Breaking Bad: Jesse, Skylar.

Call of Duty: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria, Farah.

Creepypasta: Jeff, Jane, Ben, Toby, EJ, LJ, Slenderman, Splendorman, Clockwork, Kate, Masky, Hoodie,

Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabi, Edie, Lynette, Carlos, John.

Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby.

Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Zeebo, Wiploc, Valerie.

Elemental: Wade, Ember.

Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta.

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve.

Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff.

Futurama: Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender.

Good Pizza, Great Pizza: Alicante, Octavia, Dr. Keh, Nasir, Flash, Cicero, Kimmy Slice, Dr. Price.

Grandma's Boy: J.P, Samantha.

Gravity Falls: Ford, Stan, Soos, Melody, Giffany, Bill.

Jane The Virgin: Jane, Michael, Petra, Luisa, Rose, Rogelio, Xiomara.

Jurassic Park (1993): Ian Malcolm, Ellie Sattler.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna.

King of the Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luane, Nancy, Dale, Khan, Min, John Redcorn.

Life Is Strange (2015): Maxine, Chloe.

Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy.

Little Mermaid (2022): Ariel, Eric.

MHA: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa, Shigaraki.

Miller's Girl: Cairo, Johnathon.

Moon Knight: Moon System, Layla, Khonshu.

Mulan: Mulan, Li Shang.

National Treasure: Benjamin, Riley.

Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Bowser, Waluigi.

Norbit: Rasputia, Norbit.

Princess & The Frog: Tiana, Lottie, Naveen, Shadow Man.

Ratatouille: Colette, Linguini. 

Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson.

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Carlos Oiliveria, Lady Dimitrescu.

Rick and Morty: Rick, Jerry, Beth, Doofus Rick.

Riverdale: FP Jones, Hiram.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Kim, Ramona, Gideon, Wallace.

Scream 5: Amber, Tara, Sam.

Serial Mom: Chip, Beverly.

Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden.

Shallow Hal: Rosemary, Hal.

Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V.

SheRa (2018): All Adults.

Sherlock (2010): Sherlock, John Watson.

Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Huntress, Trapper, Wraith, Trickster, Pearl, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Patrick Batmeman, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven, The Artist, Amanda Young.

Spiderverse: Miguel, Jessica Drew.

Spongebob: Dennis, Man Ray.

Squid Games: Gi-Hun, Sae-Byeok, Ali, Sang Woo.

Stardew Valley: All Adult Humans (Except George & Evelyn)

Steven Universe: Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Jasper, Blue Diamond, Rose, Greg.

Stranger Things: Robin, Billy Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper.

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel.

Super Store: Amy, Jonah, Dina, Garrett, Cheyenne.

Tangled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell.

The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler.

The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds.

The Nanny: C.C, Fran, Maxwell.

Total Drama Island: S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley.

Triple Frontier: Frankie, Santiago.

Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee.

Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie.

YOU: Beck, Joe, Peach, Love.

Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie.

~

Abel Morales (A Most Violent Year)

Astarion (Baulder’s Gate 3)

Babbo Natale (Violent Night)

Barbie (Barbie 2023)

Basil Stitt (Lightning Face)

Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs)

Bruce (Beyond Therapy)

Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Praire)

Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends)

Chel (Road to El Dorado)

Dale Kobble (Longlegs)

Dan Conner (Rosanne)

David Levinson (Independence Day)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Doug Remer (Baseketball)

Duke Leto Atreides (Dune)

Fezzik (Princess Bride)

Francine (American Dad)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia)

Jack Harrison (Translyvania 6-5000)

Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield 2024)

John Doe (John Doe Game)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

John Wick (John Wick 4)

King Baldwin (Kingdom of Heaven)

Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto)

Laurent LeClaire (In Secret)

Linda Gunderson (Rio)

Llewyn Davis (Inside Lleywn Davis)

Master Chief (Halo)

Mike (5lbs of Pressure)

Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops)

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch)

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Outcome-3 (The Bourne Legacy)

Orestes (Agora)

Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River)

Peggy Bundy (Married With Children)

Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby)

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Prince John (Robin Hood 2010)

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Shiv (Pu-239)

Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask)

Star-Lord (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Summer Field (Time Cut)

Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House)

The Janitor (Willy’s Wonderland)

Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980)

William Tell (The Card Counter)

[denaliwrites]

The Future Ex Mrs. Malcolm

Ian Malcolm x Fem!Reader

Catch and Release Prompt: "Service"

Summary: (18+) You weren't quite sure how the chaotician became famous, but you were starting to see how he got his reputation.

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Excessive use of filler words. Oral (f receiving). Age gap (only mentioned).

You were pretty sure, from the moment you first saw him, that Ian Malcolm was famous. Did you know who he was or why he was famous? Of course not. He just had an air of superiority about him that only came from spending an extended period of time in the spotlight.

Well, a spotlight, at least.

You later found out that his claim to fame had something to do with math and chaos -- he'd been all too eager to explain it to you, but to be honest, anything to do with numbers slid right off your brain, and his pretty smile didn't really do your retention capabilities any favors.

You first met him when he brought his perfectly ordinary, if a bit "Hot Rod"-esque, car into your dad's shop to be serviced. While he waited for your dad to finish fixing up the car, the two of you talked.

Well, more accurately, you flirted shamelessly with no parent hovering menacingly over your shoulders.

You rather enjoyed the flirtatious attention of the older man, and you suspected he probably liked the equally flirtatious attention of a younger woman.

The next time you saw him, he had a different car. It was new, but only in the sense of whose hand it'd most recently fallen into. It was certainly older in every other way, maybe as old as Ian himself, though none of the previous owners had taken good care of it. The shell was rusted, parts were damaged or missing, and the seats almost certainly had blood in them.

Fixing it was going to be a multi-visit affair.

And that was how you found yourself being serviced by Ian behind your dad's car service shop.

It'd started like any of his other visits. This was his sixth, overall, and the two of you were emboldened by the idea that your father hadn't caught on yet --

Well, you were emboldened. You were pretty sure Ian didn't need a reason to be, he was just like that naturally.

He'd come to your counter, as he always did, to buy a Surge he never actually drank. He'd flirted, as he always did, and you flirted right back, as you always did.

You mentioned taking a break, and he mentioned needing some air.

His Surge was left forgotten on the counter as he made his way out the back door. You followed behind five minutes later and found him waiting for you in a shaded corner where no one would see the two of you.

His eyes feasted eagerly over your legs, bare but for your upper thighs, though they were shielded only by the loose skirt of your sundress.

"Those, uh, go on for days, don't they?" he asked as he stepped nearer. Before you could respond, he swept you into his arms, and you couldn't help but notice that you seemed to naturally fit together, like puzzle pieces.

"I, uh, always wondered... what your, uh. Legs. Looked like," he continued as you were pressed to the wall and his mouth landed hot and heavy on your bare shoulder. "Could never really, you know, see them. While you were, uh, behind the counter."

You whimpered as his lips trailed down your arm a few inches, his heated breath leaving goosebumps as it dissipated over your skin and left only a cool reminder that he'd been there. "I-Ian," you gasped, a hand reaching up to weave into his curls. You tugged down, and he easily let you pull him away from you.

The smirk he shot you had you all but melting, and the growl that accompanied it had you all but quaking.

"Hey, uh, you're the one in control here," he said, though the smirk he wore made you think maybe he was the one that was really in control, he just happened to not mind much what he ended up doing with you, so he could afford to let you have the illusion of control.

Not that you minded, much. Either way, you were getting yours.

"Do whatever you want," you told him.

His smirk grew just a touch wicked at that. "That's a, uh, dangerous invitation," he said carefully, though you could hear the arousal choking his voice even so, "be careful you don't let any, um... vampires... in."

"Are you a vampire?" you asked.

"Maybe," he answered simply, before his lips were back on you, trailing ever downward until he was on his knees before you. "Oh, this is much better."

His breath teased your inner thigh, eliciting another whimper from you. Hearing the effect he had on you only made him do it more, and soon all you could do was whine desperately.

"Pretty, uh, sensitive?" he asked. All you could do was nod in response and gasp as you felt, more than heard, the dark chuckle that emanated from his throat.

He moved on, his hands splaying over your thighs and fingers digging in as his mouth moved over the tender flesh, all but worshipping you as he delicately lifted your left leg up and over his shoulder to lay gracefully across his back.

He had nearly perfect access to you, now, though your panties obscured his view. He didn't seem bothered, though, as his face disappeared under your skirt.

A moment later, you felt a finger gently brushing the cloth aside. You whined as it inevitably made contact with your slit, hips rolling eagerly for more.

"Ah, ah," he tutted, breath dancing over your slit drawing forth a moan. His growling chuckle only made you moan again. "Good girl," he said in amusement, his hands returning to your thighs to rub them comfortingly.

He gave the thick meat of your thighs a squeeze, and then you felt his hot mouth on you -- you choked back a yelp as his tongue teased at your clit, circling it a few times and flicking against it once.

To keep yourself quiet, you bit down on a curled finger, and to keep yourself grounded, you buried your other hand in Ian's curls.

This only seemed to egg him on. His tongue swiped swiftly down your slit and plunged into your cunt. Your teeth sank into your finger and the squeal that would've otherwise sounded instead died in your throat.

A breezy chuckle rolled over your clit as Ian drew back to lave attention on it. Your hips rolled in response, which only made him chuckle more.

You could feel your insides starting to coil, could feel the desperation building. Ian seemed to sense it too, as his ministrations became quicker and more precise. Every breath, every flick of his tongue and touch of his lips, had shifted from teasing to drawing out your orgasm.

You wanted to scream as one last lap of his tongue from hole to clit finally brought you over the edge, but you bit it down, even as his tongue continued to circle your little nub to ease you through the high.

To compensate for your inability to scream your pleasure, you tightened your leg draped over Ian's back, drawing him in deeper to your core. He didn't seem to mind, even as he found his mouth fuller than he anticipated, if the grin you could feel was anything to go by.

Gradually, and with Ian's expert guidance,, you came down. You panted and sagged against the wall once the post-orgasm fog drifted in, and Ian carefully eased your leg down so that he could stand and offer you support.

You could see your slick shimmering on his lips and mindlessly pulled him into a kiss. He eagerly returned it, hands holding you tightly to keep you close.

"Would you, uh... marry me?" Ian asked in a low whisper, his eyes meeting yours.

"Bit quick, isn't it?" you replied, though you were grinning.

He returned the gesture. "I, uh. Never was one for... moderation."

You were about to answer, but then you heard your father calling for you. You shot Ian an amused glance. "Guess you'll have to come back to get my answer."

"I. I, uh. Look forward to it?"

"Maybe you should come back with a ring. Just in case."

[pocket-lad]

CH 17- Riding a Bike Always Comes Back (Or Something Like That)

Prev ; Chapter 1

Nothing happened.

It wasn’t like Adelaide could open the door, even if she wanted to. She sat frozen in the crease between the pillow and the bed, scared to move a muscle. Ian slept on.

Another, louder, more aggressive knock. The sheets on Ian’s bed stirred. Adelaide didn’t waste another second and ran to the edge of the bed. She scaled down the comforter, or rather, jumped into a controlled fall.

A knock, even louder still. This time, it was accompanied by a voice. “Dr. Malcolm, please. We just want to talk.”

Adelaide was sprinting toward the space underneath the nightstand when an earthquake knocked her off her feet. What caused that earthquake? Two car-sized feet. Two car-sized feet attached to a blind giant.

“Down here!” she called as she scrambled to her feet and continued for the nightstand. She hoped she could catch Ian’s attention, but if not, she wouldn’t take any chances.

Another step sent her sprawling again, but this time, as she pushed herself up, something slammed into her. It closed around her, transforming the room from dark to pitch-black, and it lifted her eight stories in the air in the blink of an eye. Vertigo overcame her even as she realized Ian had scooped her up.

“Time to go,” he mumbled, approaching the door. He looked through the peephole and saw two people he did not recognize. It wouldn’t be hard to get past them, but Ian suspected there were more people outside his eyeline waiting to tackle him to the ground.

A faint tickle on his fingers told him he was holding Adelaide too tightly, and he forced his hand to relax.

Think!!!

There were two ways in and out of the room - the door and the window, but both were likely covered, which meant Ian wasn’t getting out. But Adelaide…

He set her down against the wall next to the door and remained in a crouch. He spoke quickly and softly. “I open the door, you run, okay?”

Adelaide craned her neck to take in the mountain of a person that hovered over her. “What about you?”

“Believe it or not, they don’t want me. Run as far - run as far and as fast as you can. I’ll find you.”

“No-”

But it was too late. There was no stopping a giant when they set their mind to something, especially when the giant was Ian. Adelaide felt helpless as the door swung open and the cool night air filtered into the room.

“It’s uh, four in the morning,” Ian yawned.

“Hand her over, and we’ll be on our way,” one of the people at the door said.

After that, Adelaide didn’t hear a word over the blood rushing in her ears. She peeked around the door frame and blanched at the sheer height of and proximity to these Beans. She couldn’t even see their faces if she tried. One glance her way, one shift of a shoe, and it was all over.

Well, there was no time like the present. Since she couldn’t tell whether they were looking in her direction, it didn’t matter when she took her shot. Adelaide sprinted outside, hugging the walls so as to not draw attention to herself. The weeds that grew in the crack between the building and the concrete tripped her up and scratched her face, but she didn’t dare step out into the open.

Her breathing was controlled, her steps quiet. She was a borrower. There was nothing she did better.

Adelaide didn’t dare look back until she knew she put a good chunk of distance between herself and the motel room. When she did, the humans were nowhere to be found. The door was closed. They went inside.

These people weren’t stupid, though. They’d realize she was gone soon enough, so Adelaide kept moving. Eventually she ran out of building and made the risky decision to cross the parking lot. A person, a car, an animal - anything could spot her out in the open like this - she was a sitting duck. But on the other side was a tall field of grass. Those people would never find her in there. And neither would Ian…

The asphalt was rocky and uneven. Adelaide had to watch her footing, but if she wasn’t so distracted, she would be fascinated by the changing landscape underneath her. From above, the rock itself just looked black. But down here, she could see the different shades of browns and grays, she could see the texture of each pebble. And then for a brief moment, a deeply artificial and smooth yellow or white would coat the ground. Then back to rock.

Adelaide let the momentum carry her into the grass, even as she tumbled head over heels on the loose dirt. As she lifted her head from the ground, a pill bug the size of her forearm strolled on by, uninhibited by the grass. It paid her little mind.

She took a deep breath and opened her ears. The crickets came back, ready for their early morning shift of chirping. A car engine in the distance. No sign of Beans.

Adelaide could still see the parking lot from where she was, which meant she was still too close to the motel. She pushed herself upright and took off at a slower pace, no longer in an all-out desperate sprint, but a light jog. The only direction that mattered was “away”.

A door slammed somewhere close by. It could have just been another patron at the motel, but it very well could not. Her suspicion was confirmed when she heard the voice from earlier at the door.

“Doesn’t know when to quit, does he?”

“You think she’s in there?”

“We tore the place apart. I don’t think so. We’ll have to check the rest of the property.”

Oh, so Adelaide wasn’t getting out of this any time soon. And where was Ian? What did they do to him?

Trusting that he’d find his way out of whatever situation he talked himself into, Adelaide kept on. She guessed those people would check out other rooms first, then make their way outward, so she had a decent amount of time to put some distance between herself and them.

She ended up following the pill bug, hoping it would lead her to water. Her desperate dash left her parched, and she didn’t know how long she’d be out here.

It was then that Adelaide realized she had no idea how to survive outside. In an ideal world, this would all be over within the hour and Ian would find her and bring her back inside, but there was no guarantee. Then again, how different could it be from borrowing indoors?  There were no Beans to deal with, save for the ones that were hunting her down, but she decided to ignore them for now. Bugs and animals were an issue indoors and out. The major problem would be weather.

All her basic needs stayed the same, though. Water? She was already on her way to find that. Food? She would kill the pill bug once it exceeded its usefulness. Maybe those borrowers that lived outside were onto something. And if they could do it, then there was no reason she couldn’t.

It was a weird experience, having all her survival instincts come back so effortlessly. This was why she couldn’t stay reliant on Beans.

Adelaide followed the bug for what felt like miles and, sure enough, it led her right to a little stream. It was probably no more than a mere trickle of water for a Bean, but it served her purposes wonderfully. She cupped her hands and splashed her face, then took slow sips. Already she felt better, her head clearer. This would be a good place to set up camp until Ian returned.

Adelaide eyed the poor pill bug, marching along pitifully without a thought in its head. It was going to taste so good.

She reached for her knife, only to find her knife wasn’t there. She had no knife. She had no bag. Adelaide had nothing. That’s when panic set in.

She was so confident, so sure that she would last however long she needed to out here, but with the realization that she was without weapons or supplies, dread quickly replaced that confidence. Without a knife, she was defenseless. The world was suddenly much, much larger. The grass that hung over her head was oppressive, the bug now an armored tank. Every sound of nature caught her attention as if whatever it belonged to was sure to kill her.

Okay, so she needed to make a knife. Wood? Would wood do? She could sharpen some wood on a rock, maybe. Sure.

Adelaide already set her sights on some tree bark when the human voices returned.

“She probably ran out in the field.”

“That seems like a pretty dumb idea.”

“I’m just saying it's worth a shot.”

Uh oh.

Adelaide abandoned all plans and sprinted in the opposite direction of the voices. The way she crashed through the grass was amplified in her ears, and she consistently had to remind herself that the Beans likely would not hear it over the other sounds of nature. It was just in her head.

She just narrowly dodged a big hole in the ground when she ran face first into something large and unmoving. It was a rock. Ouch.

It looked odd. Round and dark with uniform grooves running through it, and on its edges were small splashes of red. Too light to be blood, which was a relief.  Then, a head poked out from underneath the rock. Then, limbs, and the rock pushed itself to a stand. It was a turtle.

Fuck !

Turtles were known for being slow. That was the one advantage Adelaide had in the situation, but how slow they were compared to a borrower was up for debate. There was no doubt she looked like an insect, so if that turtle reached her, she was sure to be its next meal.

She took off yet again in another direction, running until she couldn’t breathe anymore. She turned around, half expecting to see the turtle going in for a bite, but all that she could make out in any direction was grass. The sun was above the horizon now, not that it really mattered. And she had no idea where she was.

Adelaide chided herself for not noting which direction she headed when she first took off. Something about the position of the sun and the moon? They were big balls in the sky. They would have been super easy to navigate off of if she had only paid attention.

Frustrated, Adelaide picked one direction and stuck with it. No more running in circles. One way or another, she’d make it out of this grass. She didn’t dare call for Ian. There was no sign of the Beans anymore, but there was also no sign of him. Again she wondered what they did to him. She couldn’t afford to worry about that now, though. Ian was a big boy. He’d handle himself. Just like she’d handle herself.

The day wore on and the grass had no end in sight. Adelaide’s skin started to itch, and soon she was covered in some kind of rash. Her stomach complained in the usual way it complained when she was hungry, but there was a sharp pain there, too. One that told her she ate something bad. But if she hadn’t had any food, that meant…The water. Great.

Adelaide had to stop a few times only for her to throw up what little remained in her stomach. At one point, it was pure stomach acid. It burned her throat and left a horrid taste in her mouth. But what was she to do - rinse it out with more contaminated water?

Despite the light cover of foliage, the sun beat down on her, not a cloud in the sky. Sweat dripped down her back and her hair clung to her forehead. There were a few times she had to run from creepy crawlies, but she dutifully stayed on course.

And then, as the sun began to set, a clearing emerged. A clearing of asphalt, and beyond that, a giant human structure with a million doors. If Adelaide didn’t know any better, she’d call that a motel. She made it.

Throwing caution to the wind, Adelaide sprinted toward the massive structure. She was too close for anything to go wrong now. It was much more lively than before, cars littering the parking lot and people strolling about. They were all focused on moving luggage, so if Adelaide was even just a little careful, she would make it without notice. She just had to dodge any car that came her way. Easy.

And sure enough, somebody was looking out for her that day, because she collapsed against the wall of the motel, out of breath and sore, but alive. She had to hand it to outdoor borrowers. She vastly underestimated the challenge of even just existing outside. In just a couple hours, she drank spoiled water, had to outrun animals and bugs, dodge random pitfalls in the ground, and she developed both a mild sunburn and a weird rash that she was pretty sure came from the grass. She couldn't imagine living out here all the time.

Adelaide didn’t stay still long, intent on finding a way inside. It wasn’t hard to find a small crevice to squeeze her way into, and she was in the walls in no time. Now, to find Ian’s room.

She was so focused on getting to safety that she didn’t even notice Ian’s car was not in the parking lot, nor did she notice the different wallpaper that decorated each and every wall in each and every room.

***

Ian’s jaw hurt. Bad. He wanted to sleep for roughly a million more years, but the incoming memories jolted him awake. InGen. Adelaide.

The room was ransacked. Tables flipped over, drawers emptied. They were thorough. But if Adelaide listened to him (50% chance at best), she was far away from here. Now he just had to find her.

Ian ran to the door and threw it open, his head pounding in protest. The sun had just disappeared below the horizon. He was out for at least a day.

First, he’d check the room. The room came up empty.

Then, he’d check around the perimeter of the building. Nothing.

There was no reason to panic yet. Ian hardly panicked. It was a pointless emotion, providing little problem-solving value, especially in situations that warranted panic. He’d run to the convenience store they passed on the way in. He’d get a flashlight. He’d look around.

After two hours of searching with the flashlight in the grassy plain, Ian started to panic. He called Adelaide’s name only as loud as he dared and listened intently for any kind of response. She could be hurt or asleep. As always, he watched his step.

Morning came without progress. Not that progress was an achievable thing in this situation. Ian would either find her or he wouldn’t.

“Where is she?”

Ian whirled around to see the two people from yesterday. For him not to notice their approach was a bad sign. It was a sign that he needed to rest, but he certainly wasn’t going to do that until his friend was found.

Ian marched over to the shorter of the two and hoisted him up by his jacket collar. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he said. “Why are you here?”

“You stole something from us, and we would very much like it back.” As the man spoke, the taller one rested his hand on Ian’s arm. That was the one who knocked him out last night.

“No, no, that’s hilarious, because I could say the same about - about you,” Ian snarled.

“You don’t have her,” the taller one said. He noticed the flashlight in Ian’s hand and had watched him search for the better part of the hour. This was the confirmation he needed.

Ian set the shorter one down and narrowed his eyes. “Neither do you.”

That was good. InGen did not have Adelaide. They thought he had her. But if he didn’t, and they didn’t, well…that was not good.

The taller one spoke into a walkie talkie. “He doesn’t have her.”

Static spilled out of the radio, followed by a new voice. “Understood, Paul. Check Har-”

Paul switched off the device so that Ian wouldn’t hear. He’d check in back in the car. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t follow us.”

“I’ve uh, never really done what’s good for me. Keeps life, um, interesting.” He gave them a crooked grin.

The shorter man took that as their cue to leave, but Paul took a little longer to get the hint. He scowled at Ian, fed up with his know-it-all attitude.

Once they were gone, Ian immediately returned to his search. He searched all day and all night, alternating between the motel itself and the field beyond. He switched rooms every couple days, but days soon morphed into weeks.  Ian was convinced there was nowhere else to look. If Adelaide was alive, he should have found her by now. She might be scared, but she wasn’t stupid. She’d respond to her name if she heard it, considering the alternative. And if she wasn’t alive, he should have at least found her body, morbid as it may be.

On day twenty, he rang Sarah from a payphone. She said InGen came by when she was out and tore the place apart. Luckily, Ollie and her family were in another apartment at the time. She then offered to come out and help look.  But she could only come by every so often. The drive was long and taxing, and each time, the search ended with nothing.

InGen periodically pestered Ian, still caught up in the idea that he had her. If only. And he took offense to the notion that he was stupid enough to stay in one spot.

Decisions generally came easy to Ian. Follow the most obvious train of thought, and it will get you in the general vicinity of your answer. Overthinking was for overthinkers. Ian didn’t overthink. On day forty-two, Ian made the hardest decision he ever had to make. He gave up.

It wasn’t the obvious choice, and it required an overabundance of thought. But he’d been in every part of the motel, searched every nook and cranny, covered his tracks many times over without a single clue. He even found a way to watch the security tapes to look for any kind of weird behavior from motel patrons indicating that they found a tiny person in or around the motel. Adelaide just simply wasn’t here.

Ian didn’t feel anything as he drove home, passing by a series of motels on his way out. The buzzing in his ears made his mind go numb. He didn’t let himself think about the what-ifs or the various horrible possibilities of what happened to her. That wouldn’t do.

Desensitized to the world, Ian almost didn’t recognize that he arrived at his destination. He numbly floated through the door, going through the motions, but when he saw the pitiful look on Sarah’s face, he snapped. It wasn’t her fault. God, it would never be her fault. But through her pained expression, the reality of the situation made itself apparent, and it had to be acknowledged.

Rage coursed through his bones. This was his fault. He took her to Jurassic Park. He took her away from the safety of the apartment. He told her to run. He promised he’d find her. He didn’t.

Ian roared as he threw his fist right into the wall. It went through the drywall and into the foundations. It stung.

A quiet squeak caught his attention, and he saw Ollie book it for the walls from the counter. He didn’t bother to call after her, knowing he couldn’t be of any comfort right now. He was angry, and he was going to take up space being angry, and he didn’t really care to tone it down at the moment, not for anybody.

And yet, Ollie returned, albeit much more cautiously. “W-Where’s Adelaide?”

Ian looked in her eyes, all wide and innocent. He chuckled wryly, ever so slightly amused by the fact that he was going to have to be the one to crush her whole world. He was going to have to admit to Adelaide’s girlfriend that he lost Adelaide forever. Sure, why not?

“She’s gone,” he said.

“What do you mean, gone?” Ollie said, momentarily emboldened by the vague statement.

Ian threw his arms in the air, then slammed them back down on the counter. Ollie jumped, retreating toward safety. He was acting unusually aggressive, with little regard for her size, and it put her on edge. He talked to her as if she were slow. “She’s gone. I don’t know, um, I don’t know what more needs to be said.”

Good, Ian thought as he watched her cower. She should be scared of me.

He saw it clearly now, that meddling in the affairs of someone so small could only lead to trouble. It was a cruel, unforgiving world, and it was even more cruel and unforgiving to those who were too tiny to open a door. He should never have brought them into it.

Sarah was suddenly between him and the counter, urging him away from Ollie and toward the bed. His jaw was clenched in an effort to keep from crying, she knew. When she turned to console Ollie, the borrower was gone. She’d deal with that later, then.

Ian slumped on the bed, all energy sapped from his body, only mildly aware of the hug Sarah pulled him into. He ran the phrase over and over in his head as if doing so would change it, or maybe reveal details he had missed before. But it was just the truth. The undeniable, cold, hard truth. Adelaide is gone . What had he done?

***

Adelaide waited. Day after day, she found herself peering outside, traveling to all the different cracks and crevices that faced outward into the vast world beyond, waiting for Ian to come back.

The first day was rough. She couldn’t bring herself inside for fear that the second her back was turned, Ian would appear then disappear for good. The next few days after that were similar.

Adelaide just didn’t understand. She left the motel and returned only to find no trace of him. He couldn’t have gone that quickly.

She found a space in the walls that was accessible enough. And slowly, as the days passed without remorse, she filled that space with the bare necessities. One day she found a way to access water. One day she found the kitchens. One day she gathered the supplies to make a hook and a very shoddy knife.

The days blended together, each task taking up little room in her brain. It all came flooding back. Borrowing always came back, she supposed, like it was hard-wired into her brain. It was like that Bean saying: Riding a bike always comes back. Or something like that. Regardless, the old habits returned as if they never went away.

The one thing that stayed consistent was Adelaide’s adventure outside. It may have been in a different location or a different time, but Adelaide made sure to carve out a spot in her day to watch for Ian. Just in case.

Some days she cried. Some days she sobbed. Some days she really missed him. Some days she hated him for leaving her. Some days she hated him for coming into her life at all. Some days were completely fine. But no matter how bleak the outlook became, no matter how much her resolve crumbled, she couldn’t give up. Giving up this little ritual meant the acceptance of her new life in the motel, the acceptance that she would never see Ian again. Or Ollie. Or Sarah. Or even Dane or Oliver. She was too stubborn to face that reality.

Until one day, after many, many months, Adelaide forgot to go outside. And after that day, she never went outside again.

.

A/N: Adelaide and Ian's adventures are far from over! I'll be taking a small break from writing for these two, but there will be one more big story for them. After that, it'll probably mostly be little one-shots here and there.

As always, thank you so so so so much for reading, and know that your comments mean the world to me! <3

[run-clever-boy]

I’m (kind of) new!

I'm a relatively new writer here! (I also repost absolute ramdom things *cough* peter capaldi *cough*, so my blog is a bit cluttered lol) I would love anyone to request fics or at least help me with the ropes! I have never published any writing before so comments are appreciated!

PLEASE READ: All fics that are requested i have recieved and I am working on them! I publish the fic directly with the ask so that way it is easy to find. I promise I recieved them. (Also I love all the requests <3)

I write for the following characters so far (character list below the cut), however I am not opposed to maybe adding a few more!

Masterlist here!

Doctor who:

9th doctor

10th doctor

11th doctor

12th doctor.

(No doctor who spoilers please, currently in beginning of 13’s run)

BBC Sherlock:

Sherlock

Not opposed to more just don’t really have any ideas

Harry Potter:

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Severus Snape

George Weasley

Fred Weasley

again open to more just no ideas

Marvel:

Loki

Stephen Strange

don’t know a lot about the mcu specifics but bear with me

Random:

Willy Wonka (2023 only! I can’t write about the others just because of personal icks)

John Wick

Theo Dimas (maybe theomabel pairing) - Only Murders in the Building

Ian Malcolm

TED LASSO.

OC's!!! (New!) - each name will have a link to their character description

Elise Shepard

Please Please Please help me out here! Can’t wait to see the amazing things created here. I will write 18+ content and many warnings will be provided. I mostly write one-shots, drabbles, quite a few reader inserts (Y/n). Not a fan of multi-chapter fics but may write if persuaded. Thank you!

[doublydaring]

Ron what are your top 10 favorites movies ever made

This is not a definitive list I love too many movies too much but here is a sampling:

1. Head - self explantory

2. Bull Durham - the greatest baseball movie ever made. even if you don't know anything about baseball you will love this movie. it will lovingly teach you all you need to know which is that baseball is sex and sex is baseball. Susan Surandon and Kevin Kostner mildly kinky sex with heavy saxophone. Wear garters to pitch better. The beauty of the minor leagues.

3. Benny and Joon - this movie is just... delightful. It knows exactly when to take itself seriously and when to be whimsical. Being something of a Joon myself I formed an emotional connection to these characters at a young age when I originally saw this story as a wonderful musical premiere that unfortunately never went anywhere. I still mourn those songs. Benny Joon and Sam are adorable and the conflict makes sense and I like everybody in this movie. Ugh. So perfect and sweet.

4. Maurice - E. M. FORSTER. I will always be a room with a view girly but this movie is better sorry. The movie that annoying gay people asking for happy ending would like if they understood the concept of class conflict. So good so wonderful. Alec Scudder you will always be famous.

5. My Cousin Vinny - Italian Americans, Jews, the south, what could go wrong? One of the funniest movies of all time and one of the sexiest movies of all time. Marisa Tomei perhaps I am not a homosexual. Ralph Macchio. Fucking stunning. A film that doesn't need to be as gorgeous as it is but serves and slays at every turn. Thee courtroom comedy.

6. Army of Darkness - I can't watch scary movies luckily this movie isn't scary. I love hot men doing dumb shit, I love king arthur, I love Sam Raimi, I love boiiiiiinnnngggg sound effect. This movie is EPIC. Smart stupid fun.

7. Parting Glances - Steve Buscemi gay AIDS comedy 1986. No one has seen this movie because I don't think it got a wide theatrical release its one of those movies I am lucky to know about because my parents went and saw every independent movie released from 1984-2002 at our local art theater (RIP). This movie is sweet and thoughtful and hysterical. One of my moms favorites one of my favorites. Dump him, fall in love with your best friend.

8. Arsenic and Old Lace - I have to have at least one extremely old thing on here (honorable mention to bringing up baby). This movie is fucking hilllarrrious. Jonathon Brewster and Dr. Herman Einstein are the greatest homoerotic villain duo of all time. Carey Grant for God's sake!!!! A horribly dark comedy about the two sweetest old ladies you ever did meet.

9. The Lost World: Jurassic Park - what if Jurrassic Park starred Dr. Ian Malcolm. Are you stupid? Jurassic Park is a perfect film but this one is My Favorite. The power of gymnastics can ward off a dinosaur.

10. Pacific Rim - the characters in this movie blow all its peers out of the water. Raleigh Becket? Mako Mori???? Stacker Pentecost? Newt Geizler? Helllooooo. Dr. Herman. Gottlieb. What if an action movie was good? I can't believe no one had thought of that until now? Not a kaiju guy sorry. Not a Jaeger guy. Just a freaky little characters guy and boy does this move have them.

Soooo many more: Moonstruck, Raising Arizona, Pride and Prejudice, Lancelot of the Lake, The Sting, Slap Shot, Barefoot in the Park, Excalibur, Re-Animator 1&2, Evil Dead 2, Bill and Ted, To Wong Foo, Repo Man, I could go on forever.... I love the movies.....

[ssadumba55]

Masterlist: Jurassic Franchise

All my Jurassic writing will be linked here!

Imagines full one shots of all your favourite Jurassic characters

JURASSIC PARK

Ian Malcolm Burden (Gender Neutral Reader) Love Finds A Way (Gender Neutral Reader)

THE LOST WORLD

Ian Malcolm First Choice (Gender Neutral Reader) Weak (Gender Neutral Reader)

JURASSIC PARK 3

Nothing Yet

JURASSIC WORLD

Nothing Yet

FALLEN KINGDOM

Nothing Yet

DOMINION

Nothing Yet

Headcanons Headcanons related to Jurassic Franchise and characters

Owen Grady and Dinosaur! Reader (Gender Neutral)

[lifefindsaj]

Popular misconception: The core Jurassic Park is about dinosaurs. It's not. It's about this guy...

It's easy to think that, given how every movie centered around the prehistoric creatures. I mean, the title is JURASSIC Park or World. Heavy emphasis on dinosaurs.

But if one was to look at the entirety of the franchise, even go as far as reading the novels, Jurassic Park seems more focused on the chaos. Cause and effect. Complex systems failing. Unpredictability.

Kind of sounds like a certain scientist now, doesn't it? In the first film, Ian Malcolm makes a speech in the nursery. While the speech is triggered by the raptor, it's not about the newborn or any other animal. He speaks on genetic power.

Ian tells how the hubris exhibited by the staff and John Hammond is a fallacy because manipulating genetics at Henry Wu's level is an untested field with unforeseen consequences. The dinosaurs are more than teeth here, they are variables. And variables can skew data.

While we see the dinosaurs running around eating people, the main narrative is summed up nicely in a popular quote from, yes, Ian; "Life finds a way."

No matter how many fences are put up or how many gene sequence gaps get filled, nature always wins. We see this with the natural repopulation by the dinosaurs in the wild. We see this even with the ending: nature handling nature as the Rex kills the Raptors. They are variables settling as the status quo shifts.

Where am I going with this? Jurassic World Dominion.

One of the biggest complaints I've seen for the sequel is that there was too much focus on the bugs and not the dinosaurs. That Fallen Kingdom promised dinosaurs in the mainland, not some locusts.

I disagree with them. Aside from the bugs, the dinosaurs had plenty of screen time and were even in Malta!!

I think the insects were a great idea, but implemented poorly. Could've been poor writing. Could've been COVID reasons during production. I like to believe that the locusts suffer from being shoved into a movie that really needed to be 2 parts. If Jurassic World Dominion was 2 parts, they could have kept the locusts and flesh them out more AND include dinos in cities.

I'm digressing.

Dominion and the locusts represent the peaking in the abuse of genetic power, told in Jurassic terms. The locusts unchecked may cause a possible extinction of the human race, all because BioSyn was blinded by its own hubris. Lewis Dodgson is dark John Hammond.

Jurassic World and Fallen Kingdom said the same thing about genetic power with hybrid monsters. Hoskins talked about Raptors eating terrorists "belt buckle and all." A black market emerged. People died. All because humanity discovered how to manipulate genetics without understanding the consequences.

So, yeah, Jurassic Park and Jurassic World revolve around action scenes with dinosaurs and a beautiful shot of them here and there. But the core of the franchise, the main narrative, is not about shoving dinosaurs in front of the camera and watching them fight. It is and always has been about genetic power and the mishandling of it by arrogant men.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Unpredictable // Chapter Two

Ian Malcolm x Original Female Character / masterlist / read it on ao3

Chapter Summary: Alan, Ellie and Lyanna meet key investor John Hammond who has an interesting proposition for the three of them...

Unpredictable tag list: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

When the helicopter didn't land a safe distance away from the uncovered dig, Alan, Ellie and Lyanna began to panic. Lyanna and Ellie shot off towards the dig and Alan took off to, well, take the head off the pilot, if Lyanna had to guess.

While Alan ran towards the landing chopper to get them to shut down the machine that was blowing sand all over the place and damaging the finds, Ellie and Lyanna ran to cover the historical site as fast as they could.

"Cover the site!" Lyanna all but screamed, reaching the area. She skidded to a stop, crashing painfully down onto the ground and reaching for the plastic tarp designed to weather winds and storms. The fossils may be stone, but they were easily damaged. Pain shot up her legs and she knew she’d have some very impressive bruises later on. With a quick readjustment of her positioning, she got to work.

She pulled the tarp over the fossilised bone as fast as she could with the help of some of the other volunteers. They tied it safely down to make sure it wouldn't fly off when Lyanna removed her hands. Ellie winced as sand whipped sharp as glass against her bare arms.

After the dig was secure, Lyanna stood up and strode over towards Alan and Ellie's RV, angry as she’d ever been. Landing so close to a valuable dig like this one- she could understand if it were an emergency, but as far as she knew, no one had called for emergency services.

By the same token, however, Lyanna knew that they didn't get all that many visitors this far out of town, particularly in the dead of Summer as it was right now, so whoever it was and whatever they wanted, it had to be either incredibly good or incredibly bad.

She practically jumped up the few sand-worn steps and all but yanked the door off its hinges in her haste to get inside and get to the bottom of what was actually going on here. Frustration coloured her cheeks, and there was sand in her eye that she couldn't rub out because the rest of her was also, surprise surprise, covered in sand, too.

"Alright. Who's the stupid fuck who-" Lyanna was cut off by her uncle who raised his hand in alarm, silently telling her to shut up. Lyanna clenched her jaw but did as she was told, glaring daggers. She'd definitely grown up with her mothers' temper.

"Ah, this is Lyanna Grant, my niece and one of our best," Alan said hastily, clapping a hand on her shoulder to knock her out of her stupor. Lyanna forced herself to wipe her angered expression from her face and pressed her lips into a tight smile.

"Lyanna, this is John Hammond," he said with an edge to his voice that stressed that Lyanna needed to be nice to the man before him. Lyanna had to think for a minute to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to her. 

"Oh,” she said, realising who the elderly man was. "Oh my god, I am so sorry about how I behaved just now," she apologised profusely, doing her best to dust off her hand on her jean shorts before shaking his own. An embarrassed flush appeared over her cheeks, forced smile turning awfully sheepish but no one was able to tell through the dust and grime coating her skin.

John Hammond was one of the main funders of their digs. He paid fifty thousand dollars a year to keep Alan’s projects from becoming bankrupt and essentially abandoned. No one said archaeology was an abounding field, unfortunately. Digs needed investors, and investors needed money.

Lyanna noticed that the old man had opened the bottle of champagne that the three of them had been saving and she frowned, though quickly covered it back up with a bashful expression. Given that he was currently funding their careers, she supposed he was entitled enough to their celebratory bottles if he wanted them. 

"Would you like a drink?" He asked her, raising the bottle and smiling. Without waiting for an answer, John fussed around the kitchen, getting Lyanna a glass of the sparkling liquid. She took in his appearance. He was wearing mostly white which she thought wasn’t such a good idea in the dusty Badlands. It would only take about five minutes before his pristine clothes were a sandy yellow. But that wasn’t her business, and she doubted a man like him would want to stay long enough to get his hands dirty anyway. Not that Lyanna would complain. Who liked having their bosses boss around?

"I'm sorry about the dramatic entrance," John apologised, interrupting Lyanna’s thoughts and handing her the glass, "but we were in a rush." Lyanna set her jaw. In such a rush they couldn’t land on the designated landing strip, it would seem. Then again, he paid for the circus so she supposed it was his prerogative to damage the lions if he wanted to.

"I've read your book, Lyanna. It was very thorough and informative," Hammond continued without waiting for a reply, lifting a finger from his glass to point at her.

"I aim to please," she smiled, unsure of where he was going with this, but still honoured to know he’d put the effort in to read her work. Always good to meet a fan, as they say.

"Yes, well, let's get right down to business," he paused, taking another sip from his glass. Behind her, Lyanna saw a flash of Ellie's blonde hair. She hadn't realised that she had joined them inside. Perhaps she'd only just got there.

"I like you. All of you," he paused to look at the three of them individually.

"I own an island off the coast of Costa Rica. I've leased it from the government and during the last five years, I've been setting up a biological preserve of sorts. Really spectacular. Spared no expense," he smiled wide, showing them his yellowing teeth. Lyanna fought the urge to squint suspiciously at the man. This was great and all, but if he wanted them to know about his new island, he could have sent an email. 

"It makes the one I've got down in Kenya look like a petting zoo. And there's no doubt that our attractions will drive kids out of their minds," he exclaimed excitedly, not taking pause to note their hesitantly curious expressions.

"What are those?" Alan asked, resting his hand on his knee.

"Small versions of adults, honey." Ellie sarcastically whispered to him in answer. Alan gave her a look before turning back to John. 

"We're planning to open next year but that's if the lawyers don't kill me first," John chuckled, rambling on. "I've got a particular one at the moment who's being a thorn in my side. He represents my investors. He says we need outside opinions," John shook his head irritably.

 

"What kind of opinions?" Lyanna asked, crossing her arms and taking a sip of her drink, becoming more interested in the old man's rambling by the second. What could any of this possibly have to do with their dig?

"Well, your kind, not to put too fine a point on it," he shifted his weight and took another sip, swallowing before he continued. "Let's face it, in your particular fields, you are the top minds- and if I could just persuade you to sign off on the park, give it your endorsement..." he trailed off for suspense.

"I could get back on schedule," he finished, eyes flashing between the three dusty scientists before him. 

"Why would they care what we think?" Ellie spoke up. At that, Lyanna raised her eyebrow. It was a fair question. Was it some sort of reptile zoo? Or a fancy museum? But then why would either of those need to be on their own secluded island?

"Yeah, what kind of park is this?" Alan added. They were both good questions. Ones that Lyanna had been wondering herself.

"It's right up your alley," John said conspiratorially, a knowing smile growing across his cheeks. That piqued Lyanna’s interest. Up their alley? They were palaeontologists... up their alley were dusty bones and fossilised remains... Maybe it was a museum then.

"Tell you what. Why don't the three of you come down for the weekend? I'd love to have the opinion of an extra palaeontologist as well," he said, gesturing to the three of us.

"I've got a jet standing by at Chateau," he explained, jumping onto the bench behind him and pouring himself another glass once he was seated.

"I don't know. I mean, we just dug up a new skeleton..." Alan trailed off, understandably hesitant. On top of that, they had only just met the man in person as well.

"I'd fully compensate you by fully funding your dig..."

"This is a very unusual time too..." Ellie added, looking justifiably unsure.

"For a further three years," John finished.

Lyanna turned to Ellie and Alan and seeing the hesitant but excited looks on their faces, she knew that Hammond had won them over. Money was an extremely powerful persuasion tool. And archaeology digs were expensive. Soon enough they were bound to run out of fresh-faced volunteers looking for a fun time. 

They began to jump and laugh excitedly. Ellie turned and gestured for Lyanna to join them.

"Oh no. I'm not the hugging type," Lyanna tried to reason, the infectious joy eating away at her resolve. Ellie didn't listen though and brought the both of them to Lyanna who chuckled and joined the group hug.

After the excitement dissipated, Lyanna escaped the tight hold that the two of them had on her and turned back to Hammond, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"When's the plane leave?" she grinned right back.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #613

Top Ten Moments in Jurassic Park

So for no other reason than I want to get it done before the end of the year, this week I’m talking about Jurassic Park. This year is the thirtieth (thirtieth!) anniversary of Jurassic Park. And Jurassic Park is one of the most important films of my lifetime; so important that I genuinely think of my life before 1993, and after 1993. It really was a year.

Jurassic Park is when I fell in love with film. I was always into watching films and stuff like that, but there was something about the synthesis of so many of my interests: Steven Spielberg, the guy who’d been involved in some of my favourite films, from E.T. to Back to the Future to Roger Rabbit; dinosaurs, which were cool; science fiction in general; “grown-up” novels and fiction; blockbuster cinema; special effects; and the whole filmmaking process in general, amped up by all the ��making-ofs” I consumed, and especially the fact that I devoured issue 50 of Empire magazine, with its big ol’ T-Rex on the cover. All these things came together, the hinterland between a childish enjoyment of entertaining pastimes and an adult appreciation of an artform; the moment when I dived headfirst into something, wanted to peek behind the curtain, wanted to examine the human beings who’d made all this possible. I’d had a bit of that with comics, learning the names and of writers and artists on Transformers, but now my love of cinema exploded.

It helped that Jurassic Park is an absolute blast, of course.

So as this is the film’s thirtieth year, I wanted to celebrate before the year was over. And it feels apt to go back to a very early format for these Top Tens and list not just my favourite moments, but my favourite moments as represented by a line of dialogue. This was incredibly hard, and not just because there’s no easy line to represent the bit with the kids in the kitchen. But like life, I found a way.

That’s funny coz it’s like a line in the film.

Anyway, unlock the gate, don your yellow poncho, grab a spoonful of jelly and join me as I welcome you… to Jurassic Park. Make sure you’re back here in 2027 for the sequel! More of the same but with Pete Postlethwaite this time!

“I hate being right all the time.”: surely the centrepiece of the film is the barnstorming, paradigm-shifting T-Rex attack. We can talk all we like about the slow ratcheting of tension; the rain, the goat, the goggles, the claw on the fence, “He left us, he left us”, and – of course, of course, of course, the ripples in the water. But as the beast snaps (that sound!) through the fence, and strides purposely onto the road, Ian Malcolm – famous naysayer and doom-monger – regrets so many of his life choices.

“Clever girl.”: probably the film’s most famous line? We’ve been told all along how smart the raptors are (it’s basically the first thing Alan Grant does); they open doors, they move in packs, they solve puzzles. So when they get the drop on park warden bloke Muldoon, it’s little surprise, but he still has the decency to celebrate their success.

“I think we’re back in business!”: Jurassic Park is a sci-fi adventure movie, sure, but it’s also a horror film. There are moments of sustained tension and outright terror, and then there are also jump-scares; and this is the daddy of them all. Ellie has a moment’s reprieve before a bloody big raptor head smashes through the wall behind her. Famously made Princess Diana jump in the cinema.

“Unless they figure out how to open doors…”: another of the showcase CGI scenes, the fidelity of the raptors as they stalk the children in the kitchen was something unprecedented back in ’93. It’s another masterclass from Spielberg, as we have multiple moments of ramping fear, culminating in the frantic dash into the walk-in freezer. And don’t forget, the sequence really begins with that excellent shot of the jelly on Lex’s spoon!

“I’m gonna run you over when I come back down.”: pour one out for Dennis Nedry, the big slobby oaf who’s greed got everyone eaten. Including himself! In a rather gorgeously wet scene full of mud and rain, he insults a tiny, weird dinosaur before it opens a huge, terrifying neck fan and spits big horrid gobs of phlegm at him. It’s a really creepy scene with a freaky jump-scare at the end. In the book he gets disembowelled! It’s well rad.

“Shoot her!”: the opening scene is, I think, rather undersung. It’s a combination of the misty, sweaty jungle setting, and the businesslike routine of the workers. “Loading team, step away.” It all seems mundane and peaceful until the raptor attacks and we instantly see the power of this beast, even if we don’t see the beast itself. Really spooky.

“Welcome to Jurassic Park.”: so many of these moments are terrifying, but the film also has a great sense of awe and wonder. Yes, part of that is the characters seeing dinosaurs for the first time; but it’s also the wonder of this new CG technology that is able to render the animals in such stunning fidelity, like nothing we’d ever seen before. The way the first brachiosaur is revealed, looming gracefully high up in the frame, merrily chewing on a tree, is stunning.

“You didn’t say the magic word!”: I’ve already singled out Nedry for his wet, messy demise, but he’s a great character throughout, his greedy brand of sarcasm undercutting the serious technical wizardry. Arnold trying to break into his code (whist chewing through dozens of cigarettes) culminates in the cheesy animation of Nedry wagging his finger.

“I’ve decided not to endorse your park.”: this final line is a nice zinger as we see our heroes on their way to freedom and safety, but really it represents the entire denouement of the film. Originally, Hammond was going to come in and kill the raptor with a bazooka; but once they knew they could really deliver on these CGI dinosaurs, we have a return to the film’s true hero – the T-Rex (hey, she ate a lawyer; as Weird Al said, it proves they’re really not all bad!). bursting in out of nowhere like the Close Encounters mothership (seriously, how did no one notice her?) she bites a raptor mid-leap, tosses the other one through a skeleton, and gives a big ol’ roar.

“That is one big pile of shit.”: yes, another moment of levity among all the running and screaming and being digested. They stop to find out what’s wrong with a poorly triceratops, and it results in Malcolm staring at, frankly, an enormous bit of poo. It’s funny.

Really disappointed I couldn’t find room for the dinner conversation (“Condors!”), the intro to Nedry (“Dodgson!”), Lex hacking the park (“Unix!”), or sadly anything from Mr. DNA. But what do you expect? It’s a fantastic film.  

[latenightsandliquor]

Love in the Time of Dinosaurs

While secretly infiltrating Biosyn, Dr Ian Malcolm finds more than he’s looking for…

A slow burn love story with a new female character. This story will feature an age difference and some eventual smut.

Did anyone ask for this? No.

Am I writing it anyway? Yes.

Welcome and enjoy!

Chapter One

Zoe Bailey made her way down the winding stairs to the coffee counter in the cafeteria of the central Biosyn student building. Her morning lecture wasn’t scheduled for another half an hour. She ordered her usual strong tea and sat down in a stylish, but uncomfortable, wooden chair. It was her third week working as a guest lecturer for Biosyn and she was still adjusting. There was a lot that had lured her to the tucked away Italian mountain campus - generous work conditions and pay, an impressive boost to her career and most importantly to Zoe, a fresh start.

She scanned the cafeteria as she sipped her tea. There were already plenty of eager young students milling about. Some deep in discussion, others tapping away at their laptops. Zoe had been impressed with the tenacity and drive of the students in her lectures. She was enjoying their eager engagement in her sessions, their bright eyed optimism about a better future, even if their tender youth made them naive. Zoe had been like that too at their age.

Zoe looked around again then checked her watch. Time to head to the lecture theatre. As she began to ascend the stairs she spotted who she’d been looking for, the infamous man in black himself - Dr Ian Malcolm. While they hadn’t formally met, his reputation around campus proceeded him. He was Biosyn’s rock star lecturer and the students (and fellow academics) could not get enough of him. He caught Zoe’s eye and smiled at her. She smiled back at him as she passed. This had become a daily ritual for the two of them since Zoe had arrived and each morning Zoe could feel a flutter of attraction inside of her. Ian was older, but still attractive as hell. A silver fox. It had been a long time since she had felt that way about a man and it was enough to put a spring in her step for the rest of the day.

Ian couldn’t help but smile at the woman he’d been passing each morning on his way for coffee. She was younger than him, mid thirties he’s estimated, well dressed and sexy in a subtle, academic kind of way. Just his type. Today as he came down the stairs he observed her - hair in a braid over her shoulder, silk shirt unbuttoned just enough to hint at her breasts below, high waisted pants and heels. He licked his lips and resisted the urge to turn back around to watch her make her way up the stairs. He was here strictly on business he reminded himself. Although come to think of it, why should he deny himself some pleasure at the same time? As he made his way to the coffee counter he looked over his shoulder hoping for one last look at her. Their eyes met and she shot him a flirty look. He really needed to introduce himself.

[obwjam]

GOT YOU AGAIN- IM HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN WITH. I LIVE FOR FIRST ENCOUNTERS

Deep within the labyrinthine ruins of an ancient, forgotten structure on Isla Nublar, Dr. Ian Malcolm's quest for answers took an unexpected turn. As he ventured deeper into the darkness, his flashlight revealed a scene of devastation. The old stone walls had crumbled, forming a mountain of rubble, and buried beneath this chaos was a tiny figure.

Ian's heart raced as he realized that this was no ordinary discovery. The figure was a tiny woman, no more than three inches tall, completely covered in rubble, her eyes wide with terror. She was trapped, and the rubble seemed to have formed a makeshift cage around her, leaving her with no means of escape.

Ian carefully approached the pile of debris, his movements slow and deliberate to avoid causing further harm. He knelt down, his flashlight illuminating the terrified face of the tiny woman beneath the stones. She was trembling uncontrollably, her small form hidden beneath the weight of the rubble.

"Hey there," Ian said in a soothing voice, his heart filled with compassion. "I'm here to help. You're going to be okay."

The tiny woman's eyes locked onto Ian's, and she let out a faint, frightened whimper. Her entire body quivered with fear, and her tiny hands gripped a small shard of stone that had somehow missed her. To her, Ian was a colossal giant, and she couldn't comprehend his intentions.

Ian slowly reached out, his giant fingers careful not to cause any harm. He began to carefully move the larger pieces of rubble, his movements deliberate and gentle. With each stone he removed, the tiny woman's fear began to ebb, and her eyes filled with a glimmer of hope.

As Ian's efforts continued, the tiny woman's trust in this giant began to grow. She realized that he was indeed trying to help, that he posed no threat to her. With a final, careful push, Ian managed to clear enough debris for the tiny woman to crawl free from her rocky prison.

Trembling and covered in dust, she hesitated for a moment before crawling into Ian's open hand, seeking refuge from the wreckage. Her tiny form nestled into his palm, and she looked up at him with a mixture of gratitude and relief.

"You're safe now," Ian reassured her, his voice filled with warmth and kindness. "I'm here to protect you."

The tiny woman, still shaken but no longer terrified, nodded in acknowledgment. She had been saved from a perilous situation by this unexpected giant, and in that moment, an unspoken bond formed between them—a connection that transcended the vast difference in their sizes.

Together, they would navigate the mysteries of Isla Nublar and ensure the safety of its unique inhabitants, no matter how big or small they may be.

I may or may not have a lot of first encounters written- maybe I should make a gt one shot book out of all of them because I live for Writing first encounters 😜

YOU SAID ALL THE MAGIC WORDS OH LETS GOOOOO

literally a first encounter MACHINE i'm shaking screaming sobbing

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Jurassic Park (Spielberg, 1993)

Scattered observations on the 3D re-release:

I don’t remember at what age I first watched the movie, but when I was ten years old, my parents got me the Special Edition VHS (which included a second cassette with extensive making-of features), at which point I proceeded to watch the movie every single day for…at least a few months, quite possibly a year. I don’t rewatch movies with anywhere near the same frequency these days, so it’s safe to say that I’ve seen this more times than any other movie. The point is, I know this movie like the back of my hand, and in particular, certain musical cues elicit a Pavlovian response from me at this point. And by certain, I mean pretty much all the significant ones, and seeing this for the first time in a theatre, with the John Williams score booming through the sound system, I had chills going down my spine for practically the entire runtime. Okay, maybe the air conditioner played a part too.

This is being re-released into select theatres for its thirtieth anniversary in a 3D version that I believe was actually made a decade ago for its twentieth anniversary. The 3D has obvious benefits for the many scenes of spectacle (all of which are iconic), in particular because Spielberg’s blocking and shot compositions here stress the sense of depth and perspective. (For an obvious example, go to the first T-Rex attack and note how often we look over a character’s shoulder or through a window or have anything in the foreground for scale.) But the visual strategy is so consistent throughout the movie that it bears unexpected benefits in the dialogue scenes. Take the scene where Hammond is talking to the scientists and Ian Malcolm is dropping some cold, hard truths about the folly of man in bending nature to his will. It seems a little more profound with the extra dimension. (On a side note, I guess I took it for granted just how quotable this movie is. “When you gotta go, you gotta go.” “Hold on to your butts.” Etc, etc. The only bad bit of dialogue was Ellie Sattler’s speech about taking power for granted, which shouldn’t have passed the first draft.) Also take the scene where the characters interrupt their tour to go see the triceratops. The big pile of shit is even bigger in 3D. Thankfully the movie wasn’t released in smell-o-vision.

Like a lot of people, I went through a Michael Crichton phase in my teens, and I remember the source novel being one of his better books. But while Crichton is skilled at crafting technobabble-infused page-turners, Spielberg solutions pretty effectively for his shortcomings at character development. Most notably, Ian Malcolm in the book is a know-it-all who has the right opinion 100% of the time and also happens to agree with Crichton on every key issue. This probably holds true with the movie as well, but by casting Jeff Goldblum, the character is allowed to be twitchy, off-putting and alive in ways he isn’t in the novel. (As Hammond remarks, "I really hate that man." He's also allowed to be sexy, as anyone who remembers the scene in the emergency bunker where he has his shirt open can attest.) The same goes for the rest of the characters, who are played by a murderer’s row of character actors. I could just rattle off the entire cast list, but a few choices Spielberg makes I found particularly astute include making Alan Grant initially annoyed by children so that he gets something of an arc, combining the treacherous Ed Regis and the lawyer Donald Gennaro into just the latter and allowing Martin Ferrero to put his comedic talents to use. I also understand that Wayne Knight was cast after Spielberg saw him in Basic Instinct, where he used some of the same tics of nervous muttering, profuse sweating and looking down through his classes in a particular way that he repurposes here with more sinister intent. He also has some of that disgruntled quality from his role in Seinfeld. This is probably the best casting choice in the movie. (On a side note, the further I get in my career, the more relatable Dennis Nedry becomes, and the more common skimping on IT spend seems to be a problem. “Don't get cheap on me, Dodgson. That was Hammond's mistake.”)

The most drastic change in characterization is probably turning Hammond from a POS to a kindly old man. Crichton plays him too obviously as a villain, and certain Richard Attenborough could have pulled that off, but I think Spielberg turning him into a more sympathetic figure complicates the material interestingly. I think as something of a mogul himself, Spielberg identifies readily with Hammond’s motivations, and is willing to seek the beauty in these possibilities and present us with images that might take our breath away. (Exhibit A: The first shot of the brontosauruses, built up with reaction shots, then making great use of the height of the frame and the silhouettes of the actors in the foreground before giving us a complete view.) He wants the park to succeed, even if in the back of his head he knows it will fail. To paraphrase a quote about Samuel Fuller, when it comes to dinosaur parks, only the point of view of someone who has been tempted is of any interest. (Compare this to Jurassic World, where the dinosaurs are readily dismissed with ironic distance, and you’ll see what the difference in worldview offers in basic spectacle.) Spielberg is also technophilic when it comes to capturing computer displays, indicator lights and the like, all captured lovingly while being milked for tension.

Obviously, seeing this in a theatre helped me to really soak in the set pieces, but as I’ve seen this movie like a hundred times (and quite possible more), this time around I really took note of the timing. There’s the scene where Nedry steals the embryos, which feels like something out of Mission: Impossible. (I know these guys all watch each other’s movies, and I wonder if De Palma pulled a little bit from this scene.) And a particularly strong sequence juggles Muldoon hunting the raptors with Sattler trying to turn the power back on with Hammond and Malcolm’s guidance and Grant and the kids trying to get over the giant fence. It would be one thing if it was played all relentlessly, but I love the way the movie lets you grasp the relationships between the different lines of action entirely visually (the camera panning down the switches a little faster than Sattler flips them) and occasionally lulls you into a false sense of security (Grant having a goof with the kids before they begin their climb). Just a masterclass in editing. This Spielberg guy is a pretty good director, huh?

I’ve seen this movie countless times but this was my first time seeing it in a theatre, and guess what? It’s still great.

[jsaunderswrites]

Watching Jurassic World Dominion, hoping for it to be less bad than the others but ready for it to be the worst.

My various opinions pro and con:

Pros:

The cretaceous prologue was cool, if not entirely accurate.

Seeing dinos in the wider world is cool, the found footage in the newsreel is all reused from Battle at Big Rock but still rocks.

Poachers and breeding mills make perfect sense in this kind of world.

The apatosaurus at the lumber yard was kinda magical.

I never gave a shit about Blue, but dinosaurs building nests in the detritus of human industry is soooo cool!

Neil and Dean IMMEDIATELY have so much better chemistry than Pratt and Howard, it's night and day.

I wanna pet the baby dino too!

Grant being unhappy to learn the T. rex is at the sanctuary, and sarcastically deriding Malcolm's personality are references that feel organic, not forced.

Turning Henry Wu into a supervillain was stupid, so I'm glad they're backtracking that.

Okay Ramsay is cool!

Grant catching Malcolm was a nice moment, should've been built up to more, imagine a version of the movie where they're rocky relationship is the emotional throughline instead of Maisie's clone mum. But it was still nice.

Ian gives shitty directions.

Rexy framed in the water feature was cute.

I hope Rexy (being a very old gal at this point) gets to enjoy her new family in her last years. Apparently they're now theorising that tyrannosaurus was a social hunter too!

Cool shots of dinos in the world.

Cons:

The T. rex's appearance at the drive-in was filled with people acting pointlessly stupid for no reason. Why weren't they watching a monster movie so them assuming the screams and roars were from that, instead of an ad for the snack bar?

Owen is still in these movies.

The newsreel brings up Maisie for absolutely no reason as there was no connection to the topic she was discussing, it's just for bad exposition.

I am soooo sick of the clone question in fiction. DNA isn't your identity, identical twins and even natural clones already exist. It's a quirk, not a sign you're not "real". Stop whining about it already.

They got through literally 8 words of trying to be nice, and immediately went "Ew, sincerity? Gross! Better cover that up with a joke before people start to think our characters have souls!"

Maybe it's just me but I think hiding your child from the world is waaaay more suspicious than her sharing the face of a woman who died decades ago that no one has ever heard of. If I were a perfect clone of some 80s guy how would anyone who met me ever learn that?

Owen has a psychic raptor sense? What was that shot after Blue attacked the hunters trying to communicate?

Ellie shows up in the exact pink top and dramatically removes her sunglasses the same way as in '93. Did they think they were being too subtle?

Teenagers and phones jokes, gotta play to the septuagenarian crowd. And why is he giving a presentation to just two teenage girls who didn't care?

Owen being able to talk to Blue always feels unjustified, I bet when our ancestors were first domesticating wolves they had big sticks for when they didn't listen.

Hipster coffee jokes, the height of comedy is that young people suck.

The small feathery dinosaur does a chicken thing because we think it looks chicken like, despite all the therapods being just as genetically bird. Details like that pull me out of the film because you know they wouldn't have the velocoraptors or compys run around headless.

Claire sucks at investigating.

Owen's stupid hand thing isn't cool no matter how much they think it is.

Just interrogating a guy while he's being eaten, good guy things.

People just standing around watching while giant predators rampage behind them.

Every chase that relies on the heroes being faster and more agile than raptors feels so dumb.

Oh god two-person hand thing.

Evil smuggler lady signed up for a 1940s noire and doesn't know why no one is matching her lack of energy.

Raptor gets hit by a truck, no problem, because they aren't animals but super monsters.

The movie says "you the audience only care about what happens to Maisie, you have no concern for the people of Malta as they're eaten on screen. That's just fun spectacle."

In some movies having to jump a motorbike onto a plane before it lifts off would be cool, these movies have robbed me of the ability to enjoy that.

Owen shouting "ARE YOU HURT!?" at claire is the first sign he actually gives a shit about her, and it still feels douchey.

(looking back and seeing how long since I listed a pro, nothing in the Malta scenes!)

How are you cloning "pure" dinosaurs? The whole franchise is based around the idea you need to bridge the inevitable gaps!

Maisie's backstory is all retconned for more clone BS.

Figures miss "let's release all these incredibly dangerous creatures into society because I'm sad I share my genetic code with someone else" wouldn't care about stopping the apocalypse.

Quetzalcoatlus murders a plane because... <shrug>

That "I love you" felt fake, how are they so bad at being a couple?

Gotta make sure the new character is military like her parent, because what idiot would make a non-soldier hero!? I am so goddam sick of characters just having a military background for no fucking reason in movies, bring back unlikely heroes!

I'm sorry but I don't care about Maisie's mum and the movie is banking on me actually caring.

Genetic Power is a dumb term.

All the classic heroes met Rexy once and it changed cinema forever, Owen bumps into her every week and we couldn't care less!

There's no reason the bad guy had to be that random guy from JP1. That guy didn't read like evil Steve Jobs.

Dimetrodons do not read dangerous pack hunters to me.

Owen strangles a dilophosaurus because he is a Mary Sue. It's just to show how cool he is while undoing the actual threat of the scene.

When the chamber specifically built to contain and immolate the locusts fails without any kind of sabotage or outside interference. Because NOTHING just works.

And Ian just parks and suddenly they're teetering on the edge of a cliff!? Can't they put in reasons why things are going wrong!?

They try to parallel the old heroes with the new ones and I'm sorry but the old ones have actual fun personalities.

The LARGEST TERESTRIAL CARNIVORE OF ALL TIME eats single bug. Big scary entrance ruined.

Treverrow said the giganotosaurus is "like the joker" it's not in the movie but it's still stupid.

It's chasing them is so understated, where's the freaking music? It doesn't sound big at all!

Oh man this whole giganotosaurus sequence is so bad! So slow and clumsy!

Owen tries to explain how raptor training works, still doesn't work.

Ellie talking to Claire about regrets, why? What regrets is Ellie talking about?

Goddamit Maisie AND Grant double hand thing!? I do not like this movie!

The computers reboot and the bugs come back to life, so the scene communicates that the bugs were rebooted.

Dodgson getting Nedry'd to the extent of LITTERALY HAVING THE SHAVING CREAM. And the cream has no purpose in this film, it's ONLY a blatant reference.

From the dumbass motherhood stuff in World to the obsession with Maisie's biological mum in this, these movies have an incredibly basic and bland view on parenthood. (Goldilocks > Maisie Lockwood)

"It's always him!" Except those times it wasn't, including YOUR OWN movie!

At the start the giganotosaurus killed the T. rex, later they mention there can't be two alpha predators, and now they're fighting. But unlike HtTYD2 that alpha stuff has nothing to do with the rest of the film, so this "rivalry" feels meaningless.

Genetic dino memory.

Why should I care that giga is dead? The humans had already escaped, the fight was meaningless.

Every relationship that is being wrapped up in this ending wasn't built up adequately, Grant an Ellie were ready to get back together in scene one and Maisie ONLY sees that Owen and Claire come to find her and immediately gets over her mummy issues.

Kayla was such a nothing addition to the movie. I don't know why she's here.

"Life has existed for hundreds of millions of years" and "life existed 65 million years ago" dude life has existed for BILLIONS of years! Dinosaurs are our next door neighbours on the ocean of time!

The ending speech is about coexistence, unlike the entire rest of the film.

Neutral:

Atrociraptor is so fake sounding when I saw the toys I thought they would be the new hybrid dinos, not just an actual name some palaeontologists came up with. Honestly, that makes me chuckle.

Howard is shot weirdly, I looked up if she was pregnant during this film because I feel like she's always either wearing heavier coverings or just has her torso blocked behind something. (specifically I am about 1 1/4 hours in) Apparently she was dealing with weight shaming behind the scenes, I don't know if that has anything to do with it though.

So this is the Jurassic Park III; Alan Grant is asked to travel to a location full of free range dinos, and they're searching for a missing kid.

The gate code should've just been 1234 because no one bothered to change it from default.

Final opinion:

Probably the least bad of the three Jurassic Worlds, still an utter mess made up of disparate moments and meaningless speeches that do not add up to any thesis.

I hope Edwards' Jurassic Park 7 is ANYTHING of value, despite not caring for his Godzilla or Rogue One.

Now to get back to Camp Cretaceous.